A Monster in little Denmark.

Denmark is a little country, roughly the size of your backyard. While it was once the birthplace of the mighty Vikings, it has long shed its reputation of pillaging and plundering. It has transformed itself into a mild mannered nation-state.

Picture this: No man eating sharks swim its waters. No dangerous insects crawl on its floors. Its only venomous snake is extremely rare and itself is categorized as "generally timid; not aggressive." The largest predator is a fox, which is about the size of a Jack Russell Terrier. It's people are as equally well behaved. The Danes are a gentle breed of people. They enjoy nice gardens and quiet dinner parties.

A Ducati Monster S4 with full Termignoni exhaust is a silly motorcycle. It's as gentle as a tornado full of Honey Badgers. Even chugging along at the speed limit, the thing sounds like a six thousand pound tiger throwing up after a night of binge drinking and fist fighting. While you and I would pay money to hear a tiger like that make that noise, the people of Denmark get it for free.

The Danes react with surprise and gawk at the audacity of it all. "Who dares disturb our tea?" I can feel them say. The thing insults about all of Denmark's sensibilites. A trail of frowns follow the ridiculous Italian motorcycle everywhere it goes, leaving a wake of disappointed adults and wide-eyed children. Riding this Monster through the streets of tiny Denmark is like farting at the Queen's dinner table. It might not be proper, but boy is it funny.